This is my first post. Now, as you all read, I should start by saying that I am going to be as honest as possible in everything that I write. Some of these may be short, and others may be long, and some may not come for several weeks or so, but I'm pretty sure that I am going to be okay when that does happen (so please don't freak out momma).
As I sit here in the comfort of my grandma's bed, thinking about what waits for me in Chad, I realize that I'm a little scared. For months I was excited and I couldn't wait to get out of here to go to Africa, and now I am starting to freak out. But what is there to really freak out about? Well . . . everything.
I'm not scared about what I will encounter when I am in Chad. I'm actually scared about what is going to happen here at home while I am gone. There are so many things that I keep thinking about. I mean, SO MUCH can change in a year. My family will be throwing birthday parties and my younger cousins are going to grow several inches taller. I'm going to miss the premiers of so many good movies. My college friends will create memories during their junior year and I will barely be starting my junior year when I return. There will be new people at work that I won't get to bond with as much until I get back. The guy I have a crush on will probably have a girlfriend by the time this school year ends.
Yes, I am scared. These are small fears, but I would like to think of them as completely valid. I don't know what the future holds and frankly, I am not expecting for things to go my way. I have done that way too many times, and what I hope to happen for my life usually doesn't work out that way. However, God always likes to bend the roads in my life, and when He does, something better always comes out of those twists and turns.
I haven't cried yet (I'm not really a crier anyway), and it hasn't really hit me that I'm leaving home for a year to go to a place that I am not familiar with. I'm going to leave everything behind, and even though I'm scared, I'm okay. Maybe I'm overthinking things, maybe I'm doubting when I shouldn't be, but if God led me to this point then there has to be a reason for all of this.
As I sit here in the comfort of my grandma's bed, thinking about what waits for me in Chad, I realize that I'm a little scared. For months I was excited and I couldn't wait to get out of here to go to Africa, and now I am starting to freak out. But what is there to really freak out about? Well . . . everything.
I'm not scared about what I will encounter when I am in Chad. I'm actually scared about what is going to happen here at home while I am gone. There are so many things that I keep thinking about. I mean, SO MUCH can change in a year. My family will be throwing birthday parties and my younger cousins are going to grow several inches taller. I'm going to miss the premiers of so many good movies. My college friends will create memories during their junior year and I will barely be starting my junior year when I return. There will be new people at work that I won't get to bond with as much until I get back. The guy I have a crush on will probably have a girlfriend by the time this school year ends.
Yes, I am scared. These are small fears, but I would like to think of them as completely valid. I don't know what the future holds and frankly, I am not expecting for things to go my way. I have done that way too many times, and what I hope to happen for my life usually doesn't work out that way. However, God always likes to bend the roads in my life, and when He does, something better always comes out of those twists and turns.
I haven't cried yet (I'm not really a crier anyway), and it hasn't really hit me that I'm leaving home for a year to go to a place that I am not familiar with. I'm going to leave everything behind, and even though I'm scared, I'm okay. Maybe I'm overthinking things, maybe I'm doubting when I shouldn't be, but if God led me to this point then there has to be a reason for all of this.